11 Ways To Make a Decision
We all find ourselves feeling indecisive. We try weighing pros and cons. Sometimes we get emotional and all logic goes out the window. Common reasons it’s hard to make decisions are: you think the decision is permanent, it needs to be the best, afraid of making mistakes, and pressure from others is overwhelming. But now you are facing a particularly important decision, and you don’t know what to do. You keep mulling through the choices, scared to make a mistake and fixed on the worst thing that could happen. Some things in life are black or white, and so are easy to make decisions about. A car is speeding towards you. You want to live. You jump out of the way and you know unequivocally you have made the right decision. But should you buy a car in silver or blue? Should you buy this house or that house? Should you go to the party? Marry or not? And if so, who?
So much of life is ambiguous. Sometimes both decisions would have been right or wrong… to some extent. If we wait for absolute certainty before acting then we may never act. Sometimes there are no 'right' decisions, only different or alternate decisions. Trying to make the 'right' decision assumes that life is always simple or even simplistic. You feel stuck, frustrated and drained of energy. You’d rather make the decision, yet you still can’t decide.
We evolved instincts for self preservation. To our Stone Age ancestors the ability to make a snap decision could have made the difference between being eaten by a saber-toothed tiger and eating one. But how many tigers have you been faced with lately? We rarely need to make snap decisions anymore but still, you can’t stop yourself from making them. Don’t fight it, but don’t simply stop there. Ask “why did I think that?” or “why do I feel that way?”
Research published in 'Current Biology' shows that in some instances snap decisions are better than endless pondering and logical weighing. Test subjects were asked to pick the odd one out on a screen covered with more than 650 identical symbols, including one rotated version of the same symbol. They performed better when they were given no time to linger and were forced to rely on their subconscious to select the correct answer.
Dr Li Zhaoping of University College London said: "You'd expect people to make better decisions when given time to look properly, but this was not so." He explained: "The conscious or top level function of the brain, when active, vetoes our initial subconscious decision – even when it is correct – leaving us unaware or distrustful of our instincts." So thinking too much about a decision can leave us worse off. This is what happens with athletes who choke during a big game. They stop relying on muscle memory and start over thinking, forcing them to utilize the part of their brain that learns information (rookie) instead of executing (professional).
2. List your alternatives.
Write down every option you have for the decision you’re making, get it out of your head and spend some quality time on each one.
3. Rephrase the question.
Native Americans say that there are five different ways of looking at a scenario. Whatever problem you have, try writing it down in several different ways. Forcing yourself to think about the problem in different ways makes it easier to come up with different solutions.
4. Anticipate history.
Our memory isn’t as good as we think it is, and hence, we don’t remember how bad it can be. It’s this selective memory that lets you remember who you talked to today, but not what you had for breakfast on Tuesday last week. Using history to make a decision requires that we remember what happened last time we were in a similar situation. Go slow and be critical with your recall – beware of only remembering your wins vs. your misses.
5. Remember that time is on your side.
Distance gives perspective. It’s the oldest advice out there – separate yourself from the emotions of the moment. Unless you’re a character from Star Trek this is impossible to do instantly, so the next best thing is to put some time between now and when you actually make the decision.
6. Think of this as a test.
Imagine that you’re going to be graded for the decision you’re making and you will automatically pay more attention to the process. Write down why you made your decision and follow this by thinking: “This is an exam. I’m handing this in, and I won’t get another chance to change it. Others will see it and grade my logic”. Doing this makes you more likely to examine the “why” of what you’re doing and weed out poorly made plans.
7. Do you even need reasons?
The number of reasons you have for doing something is inversely proportional to how much you want to do it. Think of any time you really wanted something. Did you need any reasons for that? Nope. When you really want to do something you don´t need reasons. If you are giving yourself a list of reasons you are probably trying to justify an irrational decision or action.
8. This might not be permanent.
You can almost always change your mind. We usually think that our decisions are irrevocable, and of course that causes anxiety and struggling. But most of them are not, and it’s fine if you change your mind later.
9. The result may be more significant then the decision.
What you decide will never have as much significance in your life as how you handle the consequences of that decision. That means almost all your decisions can turn out well if you know how to deal with the result. Did you make a mistake? That’s not a bad decision, a bad decision would be to hold on to your mistake and do nothing about it.
10.Shift your mindset.
Stop focusing on making the best choice, focus instead on the choice that involves the most growth. And if after a while you are not happy anymore, you didn’t make a mistake, you just stoped growing.
11. Make the decision concrete.
You can endlessly re-analyze and agonize over what you’ve decided. You have to stop sometime. Make it real, write it down. Once your decision is out of your head and in the real world, your brain can stop constantly churning through the options and get on with the next task.
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