Couples and Marriage Therapy
I offer help overcoming inhibitions, anxieties and early life trauma to assist couples to achieve greater emotional intimacy and happiness. I provide a compassionate, caring approach with whom you and your loved one can feel safe. My goal is to earn your trust, help you feel freer, more spontaneous and better able to love and be loved by those you care about. I use primarily two approaches Emotional Focused Therapy and the Gottman Method Couples Therapy, an approach based on 40 years of research with thousands of couples.
Some of the issues couples struggle with are:
- Financial Alignment
- Power Strugle
Emotionally Focused Therapy (EFT)
EFT earned the American Psychological Association (APA) gold standard as the most effective evidenced based couples therapy approach currently in the field. For instance, research studies find that 70-75% of couples move from distress to recovery and approximately 90% show significant improvements. Studies consistently show excellent follow-up results, and some studies show that significant progress continues after therapy.
Goals and Principles of the Gottman Method
The goals of Gottman Method Couples Therapy are to disarm negative verbal communication, increase physical and emotional intimacy, remove barriers that create a feeling of gridlock, and create a higher sense of empathy and understanding within the couple. To read more about effectiveness of this model please click here.
Effective treatment of marital problems requires a high level of trust between and you and your partner. Because conflict often has multiple causes, treatments cannot be universally applied—what works for one couple may not work for another. An effective treatment plan will address and manage the cause and then build and strengthen communication between you and your partner. Treatment may include communication counseling for you and your partner, psychological therapy with a goal of building your emotional well-being.
Want to learn more about EFT? Listen to founder Sue Johnson.
Understand the science behind Making Marriage Work according to Dr. John Gottman
Interventions are designed to help couples strengthen their relationships by creating a safe and healthy attachment to one another, reduce conflict , and creation of shared meaning and life goals. Couples learn to replace negative conflict patterns with positive interactions and to repair past hurts.
Therapy may include: Examples of skills couples learn in sessions:
- How to stop fighting and start problem-solving.
- “Ground Rules” for improving the communications process.
- Learning how to avoid the “hot buttons” and other triggers to arguments.
- How to prevent talking about problems from escalating into fighting about problems.
- How to avoid blaming each other.
- How to agree to disagree about problems and what to do next.
- How to plan for the best times to talk about problems.
- How to know when to bring up the past and when not to.
- How to develop “win-win” solutions.
- How to state a complaint that has the best chance of your spouse wanting to correct the problem.
- Learn the most important factor that should be present when starting marriage counseling.
- What to do when you feel misunderstood.
Offering evidence based couples counseling to the communities of:
- Thousand Oaks
- Westlake Village
Everyone loves a top 10 list…here is mine: