Although flirting is not a substitute for sex, you have to start somewhere. Just like you attracted

your spouse to begin with by rapidly firing off cues

that demonstrated a mix of interest and passion so you should begin anew.  By becoming sexual beings with each other as opposed to roommates you are demonstrating your desire to turn your relationship around, do it even if you don’t believe it.  It’s the best chance you have to rekindle the spark.

Fast forward a few years, past an engagement, marriage, honeymoon. Add careers, maybe a couple of kids, a mortgage, large appliances that need replacing, and before you know it, flirting is a distant memory. This doesn’t have to be another time-consuming item for your "to do" list. There’s power in simplicity. A few small gestures throughout the day can be ongoing, gentle reminders to both of you of the passionate side of your relationship.

Adult play via flirting is a way to let your partner know you find them attractive and interesting. All flirting doesn’t have to be a lead-in to sex but merely a signal of intimacy. “Not flirting is like having a puppy and not playing tug of war -- you don't play because you want possession of the toy, you play because that's a fun way to interact with the puppy. Flirting is just like that,” says Kristie Miller, Ph.D., editor of Dating: Flirting with Big Ideas. “It's not done with an end in mind; it's an end in itself.”

Flirting is a form of human interaction between two people, expressing a sexual or romantic interest. It consists of conversation, body-language or brief physical contact.

Why You Should Flirt With Your Spouse

• Flirting is a way to be playful with your spouse.
• Flirting can be an ego booster for both you and your spouse.
• Flirting with each other helps keep your marriage alive.
• Flirting is a positive way to communicate your love to each other.
• Flirting is a way to remind one another that you are still attracted to each other.
• It is good for your children and grandchildren to notice your love for one another.
• Flirting with your spouse is fun and natural.

Flirting may consist of stylized gestures, language, body language, postures and physiologic signs. Here are 11 easy not very sexual ways to add some intimacy to your daily interactions with your spouse. Try a few out today!

1. Show interest. When your spouse is talking to you, put the paper down, step away from the computer, let the phone go to voicemail. Make eye contact. Ask open-ended questions that have nothing to do with bills, in-laws or household projects.

2. Touch your spouse. Very simple, quick physical contact can make a big impact. Offer a foot or back rub—especially if you haven’t done it in awhile. Touch your partners face. The classic "wraparound-the-back hug and neck nuzzle" when he or she is standing at the kitchen sink is always popular. When you reach for your toothbrush as she/he’s standing at the sink, place your hand on her/his waist or hip. Find excuses to reach out and touch your spouse.

3. Tell a joke. Humor can be magical, reducing the tension of the day, improving the mood and atmosphere. Find something funny to share with your spouse. On the flip side, be sure to laugh at his or her jokes.

4. Clean up. It seems simple, but let’s be realistic. Sometimes things slide during the course of a busy day. Take a bath and brush your teeth.

5. Wear something special. When you have some time to spend together, or want to make time, put on something your spouse likes that you feel good in, even if it’s a clean pair of jeans and a great T-shirt.

6. Snuggle. Rather than sit at opposite ends of the couch to watch a movie, scoot in and keep each other warm.

7. Talk. Make conversation rather than reading the paper or watching television. Good conversation inducers include a walk around the neighborhood or a cozy couch, candlelight and a glass of wine.

8. Compliment one other. We all love to hear good things about ourselves, especially from those most important to us. What do you admire about your spouse? Tell him or her about it!

9. Put that technology to good use. Text a sweet sentiment or profession of love. Use an e-mail to say hello in the middle of the day. Calling to check in during the day? Instead of going directly into "What’s for dinner?" shock her/him with "I just wanted to tell you I love you."

10. Hold hands. The next time you’re walking somewhere together—even if it’s just through the grocery store parking lot—grab your honey’s hand. It may surprise you both.

11. Kiss each other hello and goodbye every single time. This is a quick but meaningful gesture. Go ahead and linger over them occasionally and see what happens.

Once you have mastered the previous steps and are ready to take flirting to the next level, try the following tips:

1. Eye contact. Call up that "come hither" look. You know the look. Coy looks, a glance, a wink, a smile, a pat on your spouse's rear, lowering your eyes, an arched eyebrow -- these all say you are still interested in your spouse.

2. Casual touches such as gently caressing during conversation. Hug her/him as if it were your first touch after eons of being apart. Touch often and casually. A simple hand placed on an arm, or rub on the back in passing can cause thoughts to turn to the bedroom. Spend an entire evening delivering casual touches, hugs and light caresses.

3. Smiling suggestively. Flash a brilliant "just for you" smile and if you're feeling a little daring, lean in for that kiss after looking longingly at the fullness of her/his lips.

4. Winking,wink, wink. A saucy wink works wonders.

5. Send notes, poems, or small gifts. You don't have to be present to flirt. Send your spouse flowers, candy, or balloons, just because. Leave a note tucked in luggage, if your honey is doing the traveling or leave a note on the mirror if you are. A well written note can convey every flirtatious thought and then some. Let technology lend a helping hand and send an email, fax or text message for her/his eyes only. Write a Top 10 list of things you love about your spouse and hide it where it can be discovered. Proximity helps, but it's not necessary.

6. Flattery. Find a quiet moment and whisper to your mate what he/she means to you, the things you love about them such as how well they interact with the children or how you appreciate him/her being a provider, or how great they look in jeans. Doesn't matter what it is, as long as it's complimentary. Everyone loves hearing that they're loved and appreciated. That alone can be one of the best aphrodisiacs around. The tone of your voice, leaning toward your spouse when giving a compliment, or a peck on your spouse's neck can show you care.

7. Online chat is a common modern tactic, as well as other one-on-one and direct messaging services. This does not have to be pornographic; it can just be suggestive, sweet, it can refer to a time you both remember as particularly sexy and enjoyable.

8. Play footsies under the table.

9. Chance meeting. Plan a romantic lunch followed by an even more romantic afternoon before the kids get home from school. Leave a coupon on the pillow to be redeemed after the house is all quiet for a massage, bubble bath, slow dance, etc. Want to know what you'll both be thinking about all day? Bring dinner home or surprise your spouse with a night out someplace from their "wish list." What about a picnic at your favorite remote location, or in the middle of the living room.

"It's gestures, stance, eye movement. Notice how you lean forward to the person you're talking to and tip up your heels? Notice the quick little eyebrow raise you make, the sidelong glance coupled with the weak smile you give, the slightly sustained gaze you offer? If you're a woman, do you feel your head tilting to the side a bit, exposing either your soft, sensuous neck or, looking at it another way, your jugular? If you're a guy, are you keeping your body in an open, come-on-attack-me position, arms positioned to draw the eye to your impressive lower abdomen? Scientists call all these little acts "contact-readiness" cues, because they indicate, non verbally, that you're prepared for physical engagement ... One of the reasons we flirt in this way is that we can't help it. We're programmed to do it, whether by biology or culture."
Source: Belinda Luscombe. "The Science of Romance: Why We Flirt." Time.com. 1/17/2008.