Sexual dysfunction can strongly affect relationships. Regardless who has the problem the relationship is negatively impacted. Commonly the underlying issue is poor communication. Compatibility regarding timing, frequency and arousing factors are culprits as well.

Even if you have experience with sex, don’t assume you know what your partner wants. Our tastes continually evolve and so should exploration of your partner. Begin by asking the right questions. While gently caressing your partner ask if the amount of pressure on a particular body part is adequate.  Inquire if they like their neck kissed or does a certain position feel comfortable. Once they let you know what they desire sexually it doesn’t mean that their desires don’t need to be reviewed periodically throughout the relationship. It does mean that one’s partner needs to be heard and validated. It is frustrating and a turn off to constantly be asked questions during love making. Equally unpleasant is to feel like the lover forgot or disregarded what his/her partner communicated.

It is extremely important to be open-minded to your partner’s needs and desires. Some people are aroused by romantic fantasies where as others need visual stimulation or appreciate the use of a range of toys. Even if you are not experienced in these practices be accepting and understanding. One shouldn’t participate in acts that are uncomfortable just as one shouldn't shame the other.

Try the following six week homework assignment:
Week One - 1. Set up date night where no problems or issues are discussed. Remember you are on a date and are trying to woo each other. 2. Set 15 minutes 2x a week to cuddle anywhere but in front of TV. 3. Set a weekly sex date where time and place can vary but needs to occur weekly (can coincide with date night).

Week Two - Come up with several sexual fantasies that you find arousing and exchange them with your partner. Consider keeping them as a go to when things need a little sprucing up.

Week Three - Surprise your partner when he/she least expects it with affection. Try telling him/her how sexy they are during bill paying or professing love during morning chaos.

Week Four - Take turns seducing each other. Not sure how to do it - turn to the Internet.

Week Five - Start to love your body, which includes your genitals. Research shows that both men and women who have positive self image enjoy sex significantly more.

Week Six -  Emotionally and physically connect with your partner. Stop everything and aim for some meaningful eye contact, hold hands, cuddle and explore each other's bodies. Try communicating on a primal level (non-verbally).

Have a fun time spicing up your love life.