Financial infidelity is defined as when one partner in a relationship lies or hides financial information from the other partner. This can include things like hiding debt, making secret purchases, or spending money without the other partner’s knowledge or consent. Financial infidelity can be just as damaging to a relationship as physical or emotional infidelity. It can break trust, cause resentment, and lead to financial problems.
Some common signs of financial infidelity include:
- Hiding financial information from your partner, such as your income, debts, or spending habits
- Making secret purchases, such as gambling, online shopping, or buying gifts for someone else
- Lying about your financial situation, such as how much money you have in savings or how much debt you owe
- Spending money without your partner’s knowledge or consent
- Having a secret bank account or credit card.
If you are concerned that your partner may be engaging in financial infidelity, there are a few things you can do:
- Talk to your partner about your concerns. This can be a difficult conversation, but it is important to be honest and open
- Ask your partner to see their financial statements, such as bank statements, credit card statements, and tax returns
- Set up a budget together and agree on how you will make financial decisions
- Seek professional help from a financial therapist/couples therapist
If your partner is unwilling to address the issue of financial infidelity, you may need to consider couples counseling.
Here are some tips for preventing financial infidelity:
- Be open and honest with each other about your finances. This means sharing your income, debts, and spending habits
- Set financial goals together and agree on how you will achieve them. This could include saving for a down payment on a house, paying off debt, or retiring early
- Create a budget and stick to it. This will help you track your spending and make sure you are not overspending
- Avoid making major financial decisions without consulting your partner. This includes things like taking out a loan, buying a car, or investing money
- Seek professional help if you are struggling with your finances. A financial therapist or counselor can help you develop healthy financial habits and avoid financial infidelity
- Financial infidelity is a serious issue that can have a devastating impact on a relationship. If you are concerned that your partner may be engaging in financial infidelity, it is important to talk to them about it and seek professional help if necessary
To address financial infidelity, it is preferable to work with the couple together, although on occasion I have worked with individual clients. In session, you will explore the thought patterns that come up when spending is kept a secret. I will also help bring about awareness from both partners on their relationship with money and what it means to them.
Working with me, you will learn tools to break the cycle and implement a system to make sure that the pattern doesn’t repeat. You will discover the differences in decisions that you make together as compared to those that are made separately or in secret.