Fighting is a common practice in relationships. Couples fight and disagree all the time. The smallest disagreement can boil over into World War III. Make sure you are fighting about real things and not assumptions.

Common reasons couples fight are:

  1. Lack of Sex. 
  2. Lack of Money. There are so many different fights that couples can get into when it comes to money. …
  3. Kids
  4. Timing
  5. Quality Time
  6. Lack of Romance
  7. Chores. …who does what?
  8. Pet Peeves


But are we really listening to our significant other’s reasoning and are we giving them the benefit of the doubt that they sometimes deserve? Why do we spend so much time fighting because of our own hurt egos, assumptions, and pride? 

The question we should really be asking ourselves is, why do we make assumptions? Easy. People make assumptions naturally to fill in the blanks or holes in situations. It’s kind of like Rational Choice Theory – Rational choice theory states that individuals rely on rational calculations to make rational choices that result in outcomes aligned with their own best interests. 

Five Major Assumptions that Couples Make!

  1. “If you love me, you’ll know what I’m thinking.”

One of the biggest assumptions couples make is that their partners can read their minds. If and WHEN they can’t, then the next assumption is that they must not love or care about them.

  1. “We’d be happier if our sex life was better.”

Even bigger than a lackluster sex life is that the problem may be a lack of trust or emotional attachment. 

  1. “If you’d just do X or Y, everything would work out.”

This assumption happens when a person does not want to look at themselves as wrong. They don’t want to look deeper into their own issues and seek help, so they point blame to their partner. It’s easier to blame someone else instead of looking at our own faults. 

  1. “You should put me first.”

With this assumption, there is an expectation that it’s your partner’s duty to make you happy. Your happiness should actually be your own responsibility.  Find your happiness, then share it together with your partner. 

  1. “We should be able to figure this out already.”

This is an unattainable expectation. All couples think that they should be farther along in their relationship than they are, when the reality is that relationships are hard work, all the time. 

What are the benefits of giving your partner the benefit of the doubt? Less fighting!

Giving your partner the benefit of the doubt not only helps you to avoid these hurt feelings, it encourages positivity and patience in your relationship. Giving your partner the benefit of the doubt will keep your partner from jumping into defensive mode, therefore avoiding an unnecessary argument. It will show them that you trust and appreciate them. So next time you feel like jumping to conclusions and turning something into a fight, sit back and really have an in-depth conversation with your partner, ask the right questions, and get the true answers. Clarity equals peace in all relationships. Peace and happiness is priceless, and should always be a goal in any relationship.

When was the last time you had a relationship check-up – maybe it’s time to schedule a check up appointment.