People often fall helplessly in love with the perfect aspects of people’s personalities. Who wouldn’t? Anyone can love the best parts of another individual. The question is: Can you accept their flaws? Can you honestly say, ‘I could work around that’ about your partner and kids?
Part of the main challenges of marriage is the continuous need to remind ourselves about the reason we married our spouse, to refocus ourselves on all the qualities that drew us to them, and tell ourselves that we’ll fine tune, but we can’t change their basic character.
How to accept the flaws of your spouse and kids
If you’re loud and lively and you were attracted to your spouse for his/her sense of calm, you cannot complain that they don’t like going out more often. Instead, we must concentrate on the positive effect that his/her peaceful nature has on your wilder one.
It’s in such areas of diversity that there’s usually the most attraction, and the most struggles, with opportunity for growth.
Another tricky aspect is seeing the good part that’s “always” there. The irritations. The pet peeves and habits and major and minor troubles that make you go crazy. Accepting your spouse’s flaw is easier when you’re aware of your bad habits, quirks, and weaknesses. One way to accept your spouses’ flaws is to take into account their positive side and what you appreciate about them. Another way to accept your spouses’ and kids flaws is to be conscious of and also accept your own.
How can you become aware of yourself and your environment?
Self-awareness involves noting your actions and thoughts. One way to note them is by putting them down in a journal daily.
If you continue putting it off and letting a week pass by without making the notes, you might not remember everything important.
Keeping notes will help you to see the values and patterns you have been hiding all along. Once you identify patterns, you gain the power to change them if they are not self serving.
If you’re self-aware, you’ll learn from your mistakes and the mistakes of others around you. You will also understand your environment and how you impact others better. This will help you to focus more on their good aspects rather than their flaws.
An individual’s belief in their power to succeed is set by how they behave, think, and feel. Somebody with a firm self-efficacy, for instance, views tasks as mere challenges that have to be overcome, and aren’t easily disheartened by setbacks.
Such people are aware of all their abilities and flaws and choose to use these qualities properly.
A person with a fragile sense of self-efficacy avoids challenges and easily feels dispirited by setbacks. They might not be conscious of their negative reactions, and so do not change their attitude.
Accepting your spouse’s flaws can start by appreciating their virtues and working on your own self awareness.